Forever and Always
by Elle-ish
Summary: Just like real life, tragedy hits unexpectedly. It forces everyone to realize how short and sweet a life can be. They had to make the most of the short amount of time that they still had together. Song fic, One-shot, mild language, Kames angst, minor Cargan


Hiya! This is my newest oneshot that I hope you all enjoy! This idea has probably been done again and again, since the song is beautiful. I just wanted to try my rendition of it :) It may not be my best written work ever (I repeat alot of words closely together, and the beginning is rather boring, I find.) but I want to upload it anyways :p

Hope you enjoy!

**Edit: Gahh! I am soooo sorry to the critic members united and ff. net in general. I completely didn't know about the lyrics/copyrighting, so now it is finally changed! I am sorry for causing such problems, but now I know! I was away on vacation and didn't have any access to internet (except my blackberry, but unfortunently I couldn't edit/upload anything with that). Thankfully my fic has not been deleted. Woohoo! And once again, I am so sorry!**

Warning: Minor Language, and major sadness (if you know the song, you know the story and how this will play out)

Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or Forever and Always which this fic is based on

* * *

James sat on the balcony of the hotel room, stars and moon shining brightly upon his sweating form. Their tour was near ending, only a few more cities and they'd be back home at the Palmwoods. After a solid three months on the road, all the boys were getting ready to head home. But the excitement and adrenaline of the fans kept them loving their jobs. Even with three months behind them, it never got old.

And to say that James was still over enthusiastic about performing was the understatement of the year.

The last show just ended with a bang. The fans didn't want to see their idols leave, and they had to perform two encores before security forced everyone to leave. The group apologized profusely, but no one was angered.

James guessed that the specific 1% of the fan base hadn't shown up for the concert, or dear lord, sheer hell would have broken out.

Now, sitting on top of the balcony of the five star hotel, 18 stories high, the screams of his fans still reached his ears.

James finally felt like he was on top of the world.

He was living the dream. His dream. Alongside his friends, no less.

Carlos, the bundle of joy that kept the group remaining positive.

Logan, the strategist, the analyst, the realist. He was the one that brought everyone back down when the world of fame hit their egos big time.

No pun intended.

And Kendall, _his_ Kendall. The leader. He kept the balance. He kept everyone moving forward, mixing fun and adventure with realistic consequences to their actions. He wasn't too over the top, like Carlos, and he wasn't too fearful of getting in trouble (aka, having_ too_ much fun), like Logan. He was a perfect mixture of both. The handsome blond just wanted to see James live out his dream to the fullest extent.

The group would never be here without Kendall, and James would give his heart and soul to the boy if he could.

Well, technically, looking down to the ring placed on his left hand, he already had.

Smiling brightly, he waved to the fans (a redundant task at that, since they couldn't _see_ him) and entered the hotel room. Carlos sat on a chair in front of the large maple wood table. The boys were able to get the pent house suite, so absolutely everything was fabulous, yet over done, right down to the luxurious type of toilet paper that was used in the bathrooms.

"About time you got back in here," Carlos said with a tired smile. He thrust a corn dog into his mouth, eating it tentatively.

"Why do you say that? I was only out there a few minutes." James sat on the opposite end of Carlos, stealing a corndog from the older teen's plate of 30, chewing on it delicately.

A corn dog was a corn dog. Carbs, fake meat, grease. Calories. James had to watch what he ate, especially now that he was on top, but he felt that he deserved a little treat after his amazing performance with the three and a half hour show.

Hell, he was still sweating from it. So ya, James definitely deserved a treat!

Carlos tore of another piece of the corn dog from the stick, chewing it roughly and swallowing it almost whole. His eyebrows raised when James spoke, giving him a 'really?' look.

"You've been out there since we got back." Carlos answered with a smile.

"Exactly! A few minutes ago, duhh!"

"Dude, we got back 2 hours ago!"

James' perfect eyebrows shot up, immediately craning his neck to see the time placed against the microwave in the walk in kitchen. 1:30 am, it read with its annoyingly green flashing light.

"Ohh..." James blurted out abashedly. A blush rose to his flushed cheeks, but he swore that it was just the rosacea!

Thinking about it momentarily, James sighed in a solemn tone. Wow, he must have been tired and out of it to spend a full two hours outside alone.

And it dawned on him suddenly, a happy realization. His fans were still down there, screaming the bands names with passion.

Big Time Rush really did have the best fans ever.

Exhaustion hit the brunette with a flash, tiredness seeping into every one of his veins.

He took another slow bite of the corn dog, before placing it down on a napkin that Carlos grabbed for him.

"Two hours you said?" James asked without emotion in his voice.

"Yup," Carlos replied, rubbing his eye gently. He was just as exhausted as James, if not more.

"Shouldn't Kendall and Logan be back by now? I thought they were just running to the market to get Tylenol?" James asked with a worried tone, a frown plastered on his usually joyous face.

Trying to smile sweetly, Carlos grabbed the phone that was placed beside him, lifting it to show James.

"Why do you think I'm still awake?"

Time passed, and the silence only grew stronger.

"Maybe they went to the bar or something..." Carlos said, breaking the impending silence.

James gaped dramatically, bringing a hand to his chest as if he felt pain. "Without us? How dare they!" He spat harshly.

Carlos laughed and James followed in suite. Even with the two trying to drain the tension, the worry just kept coming back, looming like death in a hospital's morgue.

There was a market just a few blocks away, and Logan was driving the 'secret' jeep as they called it. Truth be told, it was only a secret because it was old, shabby, and none of the fans had no idea that it belonged to them. If the boys wore wigs, masks and make-up, they always made for a quick escape when needed.

It was perfect. It may have been shabby and old, but it was fast. To James, to car was the definition of gorgeous. It wasn't perfect, which made it all the better. It had character, as James would say.

The only problem was that it left with the blond and the raven haired boy in its depths, hours ago, and it still wasn't parked back in its original spot on the pavement.

James felt his heart tighten, as if something terrible could have happened.

Quickly, James took another bite of the corn dog, finishing the meat wrapped in bread on a stick. He shoved the terrible thoughts and aches away.

Nothing bad could have happened.

Nothing.

"Have you asked Freight Train? Or Gustavo or Kelly?" James piped up suddenly, a new found hope gleaming in his eyes.

"Freight Train is holding down the barricade down there." Carlos said, gesturing the outside balcony. James nodded his head in understanding, flicking the bare sticking, gesturing for Carlos to continue on with what he was saying.

"Gustavo hasn't seen or heard from them, and Kelly is asleep." Carlos answered, biting his lower lip.

"... Are you worried?" James asked, eyes on the slightly shaking form of his best friend who only nodded in return.

"Me too, bud. Me too."

Carlos let out an exasperated sigh.

"This is stupid. They're just being ignorant asswipes. They do this all the time, it's just us that always get the short end of the stick, huh?" Carlos tried to say with a smile and a cautious laugh.

This was something that Logan and Kendall did often. They would leave after a show, cool down, make their boyfriends worry, and then apologize profusely when they returned three hours later.

With all the antics that the members of Big Time Rush seemed to find themselves in, time and time again, both James and the Latino would always find it in their hearts to forgive the other boys.

"Ya, we're going to have to sit them down and have a looong discussion with our boyfriends." James laughed, eyes lighting up.

Carlos smiled, taking a bite into his 8th corndog of the night. James almost gagged at the thought. So much grease! So many calories! Gahh! How could Carlos do that to himself? Didn't he care for his body and muscles? Muscles couldn't run on pure fat alone!

"Yes, we are my friend. Yes we are. So, how are you and Kendall doing?" Carlos spoke, forcing James' hazel eyes away from the corn dog in hand.

In turn, the pretty boy lifted up his left hand, wiggling his fingers around, emphasizing the diamond ring on his finger.

"Well, we're getting married in a few months, I would say that our relationship is going swimmingly." James lifted himself with a sigh from his seat. He threw the napkin into the garbage and grabbed himself a bottle of water from the large fridge.

"What about you and Loges?" He asked, opening the water and dragging it to his lips.

The ice cold liquid felt like heaven as it ran down his raw throat.

"We're doing really good."

An evil idea popped into James' brain. The brunette gave a wicked smile, cocking his head at the Latino in question. "Have sex yet?" He asked devilishly.

Carlos spat out his saliva mashed corn dog onto the table, shocked by the recent question.

He turned, glaring at the laughing brunette.

"James! G-get your mind out of the g-gutter!" He stuttered in a loud voice. James grabbed onto his stomach, loving the reaction he created.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He conveyed apologetically. James wiped dramatically at his eyes, as if he was crying from laughter.

"... An-and no.. We haven't. We're waiting for the right time." Carlos added, blush rising as he spoke. He hid his eyes, embarrassed that he just let out that specific little secret.

"Hey, it's all good. No time is better than the right time!" James added with a wide smile.

Carlos laughed. "You're horrible at making others feel better." He stated, flicking the corn dog at James with his wrist.

Jams sat back down in his original spot, taking another sip of his water.

"Ya, well it's the thought that counts, right?" James asked in a quizzical tone. Carlos nodded, smiling softly.

Quickly, and shocking to the brunette, the smaller Latino leapt up, cleaning the mess he made.

James glanced down at the ring. It was a silver titanium band, gold weaved around the edges. There was a large, shimmering 1 karrot, trillion cut diamond in the middle, surrounded by two smaller, marquise cut diamonds on each side.

Crystals were engraved all along the rims of the titanium, just above the gold trim. James loved it. It dazzled under any light, and caught anyone's eyes.

Kendall knew him too well. It was the perfect fit for James.

The phone rang just then, Carlos leaping for it as if he was Superman. Arms flinging over his head, Carlos jumped onto the table, sliding whilst grabbing and answering the phone.

"H-hello?" he answered with a fearful tone, continually sliding across the contents of the maple wood on his stomach. James shot his hands forward, grabbing Carlos' clothed back and keeping him from falling off the table.

"Yes, yes this is he?" Carlos spoke as soon as his safety from a potential fall and crash was evident.

James watched quietly. Carlos slowly swayed off the table, walking around it's edges and immediately collapsed into his momentarily abandoned seat, the blood draining from his face.

"Oh my- ar-are they okay?..." Carlos nodded his head, 'Mhmm-ing' the entire way. He made a loud, audible gasp, hands shaking, eyes widening.

All the fear that James had been able to put aside with the sex comment and saving Carlos from his (not so) impending death of falling off the table, had disappeared, draining like a creak during a draught.

Carlos' eyes met James', sympathy shining through.

James gulped.

This wasn't good.

James mind flashes to the past, feeling the need to be nostalgic, reminiscingand pretending that nothing was happening.

That Carlos wasn't giving him these looks and holding his hand tightly. Almost comforting.

James hated not knowing what was happening, so his brain took over, creating visuals of the best memories James held.

His mind gained control, protecting James from any potential hurt that the boy could feel in his near future...

* * *

Months before, Kendall and James had been on their millionth date, walking hand in hand on a nearby beach. It was already dark out, the sun already set for the day, and the stars taking over, reigning the skies for just a few hours.

Except in the bittersweet air of L.A., there were no stars to be seen. So different from the Minnesota nights they had grown used to. Now, the lights from the skyscrapers dawned against the distorted waters. The different coloured shimmers created dances on the darkened waves.

A portrait James would never forget.

Kendall lovingly wrapped an arm around James' waist, embracing the warmth.

The hugs and touches had been something they hadn't been allowed to do for awhile, since they had been on tour just before. Now, in the memory, they were free for a few more months, and were enjoying the very much needed one-on-one time.

James leaned in, kissing Kendall's dimpled cheek gently.

And for some strange reason, unbeknownst to James, Kendall stopped, right then and there, arms escaping the tight embrace of James' waist.

James cocked his head at the blond, silent questions being spoken between the two in just a few short, simple gestures.

"Kendall, are you okay?" He finally asked, after Kendall hadn't dared answered James' silent, prior questioning.

The blond smiled sweetly. He pecked James on the lips, watching the brunette's eyes with intent.

"James," he began, taking a breath. He grabbed James' hands, holding them tightly in his own as he leaned to press their foreheads together.

James' eyebrows slightly rose amidst his confusion.

Kendall laughed, noticing the bizarre stare.

"We've been dating now, for 4 years. Four wonderful, enchanting years I have been by your side and you mine. I've loved every moment of it." Kendall tightened the grip of his hand, intertwining the fingers delicately with his own.

"You've always been there for me, and if it weren't for you, we would never be here, in this great place, living the dream. I would have never met the Jennifers, Jo, Camille, Mr. Bitters, Gustavo or Kelly. We have lived so many great adventures, some most people couldn't even dream of experiencing. And it was all because of you. I love you for it. I never regret taking you to the audition, and I will never regret that I may never play for the Wild,"

James pouted his lips, taking a deep inhale with his breath. It was a sore spot, as the brunette always had felt bad for that. James was living his dream, and really, it was because of Kendall. And the blond, James thought, never got the thanks he deserved.

His dream never came true.

Sensing the brunette's apologetic thoughts, Kendall pressed his lips to James' once more.

"Because I'm living the dream with you. Watching you be able to finally get what you've always wanted, made my own dream come true. I get to watch your smiling face every day. Knowing that you're happy, is all it takes to make me happy."

James laughed, knowing that wasn't _entirely_ true, since Kendall also loved being on the rink. James, the same as Kendall, loved watching the blond boy play. His energy would come back all at once, and his excitement and adrenaline from playing, the happiness that he felt, would last for days on end.

Those special days afterward, after playing an exhausting game of hockey, it almost seemed to reinvent Kendall. He was completely happy and positive for days, and it was all because of the rink. It was incredible what one small hobby could do to a human being.

That small fact, when he saw the blond's smiling sweaty face, untying his skates, was all James needed to see to get himself through the rough days sometimes.

Nevertheless, Kendall's sentiment, as corny and cliché as it was, was appreciated.

"You laugh, but it's true." Kendall added cheekily.

He slowly kneeled down to the sandy ground, hands still tangled with James' own calloused ones.

"So this is why I'm saying," Kendall spoke with such intensity, fear and desire that it almost frightened James.

He watched as the blond, who's gaze never left his own, reached into his back pocket, lifting out a little black velvet box. James gasped loudly. And with that, Kendall said,

"_I want you forever, forever and always. Through the good and the bad and the ugly, we'll grow old together. Forever and always"_

He sang the words with his professional voice, James wanting to laugh and cry at the same time. He had always been the melodramatic one to wear his heart on his sleeve.

"I love you James, and I want to make a life with you. Will you allow us to do that? Do you accept my offer?"

Kendall opened the box, the silver band shimmering against the city lights and un-seeing stars above.

Right then and there, James almost fell in love with the ring as much as he loved Kendall.

"Forever and always." James spoke, bringing Kendall up for a deathly hug, squeezing the other boy with sheer might.

Kendall squeaked, as he couldn't obtain air to form any other incoherent sounds.

"Yes," James said again. "I'll marry you!"

* * *

As of now, that was all a distant memory. Carlos had gotten Gustavo to drive himself and James to the hospital where their two lovers awaited them.

The boys and the elder man dashed through the doors, flinging them open in panic. Carlos was the first to reach the front desk.

"Mitchell and Knight." He spoke, breaths rough and ragged.

"Pardon?" The secretary with an annoyed stare, asked hesitantly, not catching what the Latino had said.

It took all the control he had not to throw himself over the desk and shake the women violently for answers.

"Mitchell... And Knight..." He tried again, slower, enunciating each and every one of his words.

"Oh." The receptionist replied, quickly running through the files on her computer. She found them quickly, pushing her large glasses back up her nose.

"Third floor, room 308. The Doctor said-"

Except she was never able to finish her sentence.

The small, now energetic Latino boy grabbed a dazed James' hand, running for the elevator.

Gustavo signed any papers necessary and followed quickly, never letting them out of his sight.

When they reached the third floor and the room that the receptionist had spoken of, Carlos' heart almost broke.

Logan was sitting there, alone in the pure white halls. His head was in his hands, crying softly.

"Logan!" Carlos shouted, jutting forward and bundling the genius into his arms.

"I thought you were dead." Carlos whispered loving into the shaking boy's ears.

"I-I'm fine.." Logan tried to maintain his dignity, but soon fell short. He collapsed against Carlos, breaking down completely as the familiar warm scent of Carlos embraced him.

Hours before, Logan actually believed that he would never get a chance to be in Carlos' arms again.

"I- the truck. We were driving, and he- the guy- _oh god_..." Loan winced, the memories flashing through his over used brain.

"He ran a red light," Logan tried to explain as Carlos sat him down in the chairs, holding him tightly. "An-and the semi hit into us. I- I my ribs hurt. They were broken from the crash, I have a few lacerations, but I'm fine. I can walk, and I can talk, and they just released me a few hours ago. I tried to call you, I tried. But- but, I couldn't... I couldn't." Logan burst out into another fit of sobs, Carlos holding him affectionately. He ran his hands against the younger's back, carefully rubbing him comfortingly as he didn't want to hurt the raven haired boy's bruised body further. Carlos hated seeing Logan in any type of pain, especially if he knew that _he_ caused it.

"I love you, Logan." He kissed the boys hair, Logan continuing to sob quietly in the hallway.

"I love you too, Carlos." Logan attempted through his tears, never once glancing up to look the Latino in the eyes.

James watched with a bare stare. He held no emotion on his face, he was completely numb.

He noticed a young, crying couple entering the room on the opposite side of the hall. The sobbing and near hysterical blond women held almost the same ring that James had, the brunette mused. Except, under the artificial light of the hospital, he could tell that her ring didn't bare real diamonds.

They just didn't hold that shimmer that James loved.

'_But, then again, not everyone was rich enough to afford real diamonds'_, James mused thoughtfully.

Gustavo could be seen on the side of his vision, talking to a doctor who just entered the luminous hall from Room 308.

He felt a hand tugging at his windbreaker, tearing him away from the scene that was Carlos and Logan.

In the pit of his stomach, James felt oddly jealous of his two friends.

"You can go see him now." Gustavo offered, his voice quiet and soft. It was the opposite of what he usually was, and that scared James, although he never let it show.

James nodded his head as Gustavo dropped his hand.

He began walking towards the room.

_She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room  
She sits by his bedside, holds his hand too tight  
They talk about the kids they're gonna have and the good life  
The house on the hillside where they would stay_

The sight that met James shattered his heart completely.

There was Kendall; So small, so lifeless. So unlike anything Kendall had ever been.

He was wrapped tightly with comforting blue blankets, hiding the bruises and cuts that were buried deep in his skin. His face and left eye were bruised over, nose obviously broken. His chest lifted slowly in his drug induced sleep. There was a bandage wrapped tightly around his blond hair that was streaked with blood. His own blood.

Bandages. Bandages everywhere. So vast and expanded that James could barely see a glimpse of Kendall's own skin. All he could see that was truly Kendall was his hand.

There was an Iv hooked to his arm, as well as that damned beeping machine.

"_Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep_..."

James knew that Kendall hated that noise more than anything.

When they were younger, Kendall would sometimes sneak into James' room, staying for the night when the death of his Father got the better of him.

James would hold Kendall, shushing him and comforting him to the best of his 8 year old abilities. It was always the '_Beep... Beep... Beep_..." that made the blond wake up screaming, wishing his Father was still there.

Years passed, the nightmares faded, but the terror and hatred the blond felt for those beeps never subsided.

He always blamed _them_ for taking his Father away, the night the elder Knight died from his disease.

In Room 308, James took hold of Kendall's hand, holding it gently.

His line of vision noticed a missing entity that seemed to belong on the blond, but James couldn't put his finger on it. Not now, anyways.

It was a minuscule fact. Unimportant.

A few people had gathered behind James, listening as the Doctor disclosed his report.

James only picked up certain words, such as:

'_Lungs collapsing... Heart beat slowing... Medically dead for 2 minutes. Flat line... Not much longer_..."

The words faded in and out of James' mind. They all sounded familiar, and he could comprehend what they meant. But at this moment in time, he didn't understand them. He couldn't, he wouldn't allow himself too.

The words made no sense to him, and James could really care less.

He noticed Carlos walk into the room with a frazzled Logan, who only broke into louder sobs at the sight of Kendall and the non-crying James.

"It broke in the crash, I'm sorry, James. I'm sorry..." Logan sobbed when he noticed James' fingers tracing to pale tan line against Kendall's ring finger, where the missing object would have been if it hadn't been broken, thrown around and crushed within the duration of the crash.

Deep inside of Logan, the raven haired boy almost wished that he had been driving, rather than Kendall.

If he hadn't had the headache. If only he hadn't given his last Tylenol to the guitarist a few days before. If only Logan drove himself, rather than taking Kendall up on the offer to drive. If they left earlier, or even later, then they wouldn't be in this mess.

They wouldn't have met up with the drunk driver.

Kendall would still be completely alive, living without any amount of pain.

The realistic side of Logan stepped in, telling him that he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. But, as tears seeped from Logan's eyes, watching the deprived form of Kendall, Logan couldn't believe that simple answer.

James shuddered involuntarily. The brunette just didn't understand any of this. What was happening. Why was everything moving so quickly? Why was everything so white. Why could he only hear a few spoken words, which were only overpowered by the sounds of Kendall's breathing and beeps of that damned, stupid, _fuckery_ of a machine?

It was like the entire world was moving around James and Kendall, while they only stayed in the same second that they had entered when James sat down in the seat next to his love.

What was happening?

There wasn't a moment of clarity for James, no intense and sudden brink of wisdom.

There was just the slightest formation of an idea inside his head, growing and growing, increasing until James took hold and ran with it.

He slowly removed his hand from the other's, scared that it would disappear if he let go. When he got his reinsurance that it wouldn't, James lifted himself from his seat- momentarily thinking back to seemingly minutes ago, when he lifted himself from his seat to grab a bottle of water, before making Carlos choke on his food with a playful sex comment.

In mere moments, so much had happened. How.

How?

James walked gracefully out of the room, all eyes were on him as he rode with stride, head held high. He walked to the desk on the end of the hall, explaining his idea. The young women, the secretary on the third floor and kinder than the one from before, held a mixture of emotions. She hadn't seen enough to _not_ care about those living and still breathing around her.

First she stared at James as if he was insane, as the psychiatric ward _was _just above level 3, and then she began to melt and 'awwh' as James explained the reasoning behind his idea.

Then, suddenly, tears sprung to her warm blue eyes as the same sadness everyone else felt, hit her hard. She smiled and nodded her head, lifting the phone and making the call that James had requested.

James muttered a sincere 'Thank you' and left, off to make his next stop.

Soon, James found himself in front of the door on the opposite end of the hall. He knocked twice, waiting patiently for an answer.

His body and mouth were moving for him, taking control while his mind could not. At least his body knew that if he didn't do this, he'd never forgive himself.

He could feel with a shudder, the eyes of his friends that followed him everywhere he went. They watched his every move with caution. Had James snapped so quickly? Had he already lost it? Confusion mixed with sadness within their irises, James remarked.

The young, hysterical girl from before answered, this time more calmly and mannered then before. Her eyes were still red rimmed and murky from her decreasing eyeliner and mascara.

"Y-yes?" The blond haired women managed to choke out. James' eyes softened at her situation, noticing an elderly man lying on top of the mattress in the far corner, pale and resting peacefully.

He had his own _Beep... Beep... Beep..._ machine.

James somehow was able to smile. It was small and barely visible, and hey, it may not have been his infamous, make-women-faint smile, but at least it was there.

His mouth began to move, speaking the words that the inner recesses of his mind had formed.

It took a toll of 5 minutes for James to get it all out. He choked up a bit, as his conscious and true self were beginning to come back and work in increments. But he didn't want that. Not now.

He didn't want to come back to reality until he was by Kendall's side. He had to remain in his dazed state, or else James was going to lose it.

The brunette knew that.

The women laughed brokenly. She took off her own ring, lifting it gracefully and giving it to James. James once again muttered out a sincere 'Thank You' before dashing into Room 308 once again.

A group of nurses and doctors alike had entered the small chamber, enthralled with what James was planning. The news got out fast, reaching each and every far end of the hospital. Everyone wanted to watch as James' idea took place in reality.

The crying women who gave James the ring, alongside her husband and the secretary and a few other Hospital staff gathered around the door, completely intrigued.

James sat down in his seat, grabbing Kendall's hand once again.

His mind began working now, his ears taking in every sound, vision taking in every sight.

James wasn't going to hide during the tough times. He didn't know how much longer he had, and he knew that he had to be there, completely, for it all.

James turned to the chaplain that bad been called by the kind secretary, telling him to commence the 'ceremony'.

The older man opened his book, beginning to recite the verses as James held to Kendall's hand tighter.

All the nurses burst into sobs simultaneously, especially when James had answered 'I do.'

Kendall awoke, moving the tiniest bit and groaning. Luckily for him, he had heard the commotion that surrounded him, and he could feel James' familiar hand against his own.

It was scary, but he knew exactly what was happening.

And for once, without a second thought, Kendall was just going to run with it.

With a raw voice, too tired for his own good, Kendall managed to answer 'I do', when needed.

Carlos held Logan a little tighter as the raven haired boy pressed his face into the crook of Carlos' neck.

Gustavo stiffened, feeling his own tears begin to fall.

This was _his _dog, the fire that started it all. Gustavo knew it would be inhuman to not let out what he'd been feeling. Alongside the large record producer, the room broke into more tears. Some laughed sorrowfully at the sight, it was so beautiful and bittersweet and heartbreaking all at the same time.

They all wanted to breakdown and cry, but the happiness that appeared throughout both boy's eyes held them back.

The smiles tugged at Kendall's and James' lips as the stared at each other, ignoring everyone else.

James, pressing his lips to Kendall's hand, moved the ring onto the now delicate finger.

A perfect fit.

The brunette let out one last smile alongside a sigh, before he recited his final vow.

"_I want you forever. Forever and always, through the good and the bad and the ugly. We'll grow old together, but always remember; Whether happy or sad or whatever, we still love each other.  
Forever and always"_

As of now, it was too much to take. The entire scene fell onto him like a bag full of weights. James broke down completely, tears falling from his beautiful hazel eyes. He held to Kendall's hand for dear life, suddenly wishing, praying that this was all a nightmare.

Please, please let this not be true.

In the depths of his mind, James could hear the _beeps _growing further and further apart.

But James couldn't focus on that. He had to focus on this moment, right here, right now. Kendall was still alive, they were now theoretically married.

James couldn't be happier yet more sad at the same time. It was a fine line to cross, and James was standing in the middle, wondering which side to jump too.

Kendall blinked wearily, pure emerald eyes still seeing to the world around him. It was blurring together into one giantabstract painting.

All that mattered right now was the weeping angel holding onto his hand, whispering pieces of affection to him.

James.

His James.

It was official now, and that was all that mattered.

James was all he could see clearly as everything else began to fade completely.

The pain Kendall felt was slowly leaving his body, peace and serenity filling his veins.

The entire room listened with intent, the only thing breaking the silence was the dreaded beeps and the sound of James' sobs.

Kendall grazed his thumb of James' skin, remembering each and every sensation he felt, memories flashing over all the times he had held the familiar hand. With one last smile, Kendall parted his broken lips, wheezing out the words carefully.

"_I love you forever, forever and always. Please just remember, even if I'm not there_, I_'ll always love you..."_

The beeps faded into eternity, and the doctor called the time.

James remained seated, watching the life fall from Kendall's eyes.

The room turned to chaos around him, but the well toned boy noticed nothing. James could still hear, faintly, the nonexistent sounds of beeping.

James used the one hand that wasn't attached to Kendall's, and lifted it to the blonds eyes. Slowly, his fingertips softly and shaking fell against the skin of Kendall's eyelids, pressing down.

He shut Kendall eyes, knowing that he'd never see something so green and wonderful again. He managed to lift himself upwards, pressing a kiss to Kendall's forehead.

The tears no longer fell as he dropped into a state of numbness. James opened his mouth, finishing the phrase he knew so well with such a broken tone.

"_Forever and Always_..." He whispered for his and Kendall's ears only.

He felt that wherever Kendall was now, the blond had heard him. James knew that Kendall finished saying the words alongside the brunette merrily, the beautiful smile still plastered on his face.

Because those words were to always be said together,

Forever and always.

* * *

:'( I hate killing characters...

Review!


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